If you read any writings, blogs, facebook posts, on living with cancer, you will find that it is often referred to as a Fight, a Battle, and that those participating in this fight referred to as warriors.
Let me just say how abhorrent this is. Cancer is not a fight, and cancer patients are not warriors. Cancer is a disease, and just like any other disease it invades the bodies of people who were once healthy and whole, vibrant, and going about the daily business of life.
Instead, consider cancer as an unwelcome visitor, who comes and doesn't know when to leave. It is rude, selfish, and hasn't the manners to realize it has overstayed it's welcome. If you are "lucky" enough to be diagnosed at an early stage, you may also be lucky enough to reach a point in your life where this unwelcome visitor no longer appears. It took the hint, removed itself and closed the door as it left. If, however, you aren't that lucky, and are diagnosed at late stage, it most likely doesn't take the hint. It remains, roaming through your body like the unwelcome visitor that roams uninvited from room to room, looking in closets, opening and closing drawers, and in general, intruding itself into places where it has no business. And often, it finds a comfortable place, and in it's comfort, feels free to invite its friends to join him. And they happily accept the invitation.
To say it's a fight, and we are it's warriors is incorrect and inappropriate. If we as patients lose, you may hear "oh, so sorry she/he lost the fight." What? No! The patient didn't lose the fight. She/he was an unwilling participant in a war that was not asked for. She/he didn't die because of a lack of fighting hard enough, nor from not being brave enough. She/he died because of a disease that stole the patient's life.
Cancer brings enough negatives into a person's life all on it's own. Please don't belittle that person by saying they "lost the fight." That person may have spent years assualted by this disease. They have done all that medical science currently knows in dealing with this visitor, and unfortunately, when you are the patient it quickly becomes clear to you that what they know isn't really that much at all.
And finally, let's please all remember than not all cancers are pink. In fact, today 85% of pink cancer patients live to their full allotted time on this earth. Let's remember the color purple, which covers all cancers, because there are many that are deadly. Don't they all deserve the same attention?
That's quite a visual...roaming like an unwelcome visitor, intruding into closets and opening drawers...much like when your home is burgled. Both experiences, cancer and burglary, leave you violated and forever changed, never quite comfortable in your own skin/home in the same way as before. That's a good analogy to help explain the experience to people untouched by cancer.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kathy. It is a way of living that it hard to verbalize to people, but when you write it down, it flows out much better, at least for me.
ReplyDeleteRight Cathy, I was thinking the same thing, when I was mulling over the issue of occult cancers and how they sneak into the lives of the innocent victims. In these clinical situations, the "thief" metaphor fits aptly.
ReplyDeleteThe good news is that, in my opinion, the digitalization of medicine with the power of computing, will find very specific blood tests to discover these occult cancers (i.e., prostate, breast, colon, ovarian, pancreas) much earlier.
I report on that stuff for a living. See
http://www.InternetMedicine.com for updates on the digitalizatioin of Healthcare.
And this is not a shameless plug, but an issue that concerns all doctors. All doctors are mad about this damn "thieves". One stole away a good friend at the age of 35 from breast CA, and she was one of the most unbelievable people I had met in my entire life, and now she is gone.
I like how you explain it. I also appreciate your comment at the end about cancer being purple and not just pink. It's something i get tired of hearing everywhere on tv, like only those with the pink cancer matter or are the most important. It seems if you don't have the pink cancer, then you don't count hence no research money for you.
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