It's a constant when you have cancer. People are always asking "Is there anything I can do?" And the answer from most cancer patients is also a constant. The answer is usually, "oh thank you, but I'm doing fine." No one, not even a cancer patient, wants to appear needy or helpless. Which leaves the inquisitor to feel either useless, or let off the hook.
So allow me to clear this up. When a cancer patient says no, don't let your actions be judged by that one simple word. Do something anyway, because most cancer patients do not like to admit that there are things you could do, gestures that they would appreciate. Some very simple things. Here are a few suggestions: call them regularly to see how things are going; call and see if it's okay if you stop by for a while (bring donuts!); call them in the morning and tell them not to make dinner that night, you are bringing it over; send them a nice greeting card once in a while; ask if you can accompany them to chemo; see if they need a ride somewhere, or something from the grocery store. There are so many effortless things you can do that would make a huge difference in the life of a cancer patient.
If you know a cancer patient, pick one of those suggestions and just do it. Don't wait to be asked, and don't believe them when they say "oh thank you, but I'm doing fine." Cancer is not an easy journey, neither physically nor emotionally. If you're lucky enough to be healthy, you have no idea how appreciated it will be.
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